Adapted from The Notebook: Happy moments are like shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity.
Adaptations don't necessarily mean sadness can evade us. Time is an interesting concept. It kills and breeds hope. Maybe there are this objective external time measure, which is ruthless, and our own clocks, which are soothing. Our clocks of the shared minds and souls are much slower. We realize their existence when we bump into old friends over and over again. Over and over again, our endearing love and friendship, if true, seem to be just like yesterday. Except that at that point, yesterday, today, and future will be blurred. No time - only humanly love.
9.25.2010
Doubts and Feelings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lZpWpWFQrY
Asking the following questions contradicts with my hope that the truth is more beautiful than my doubts.
And yet, the questions are still there:
- What kind of effects people want to create with these China Got Talents clips? Bringing up touching scenes and people in extremely unusual circumstances to make others feel inspired? to make others feel that they're luckier? to make others see there's more to China than the burgeoning middle-class?
- Is everything scripted? ie. is it fake - what's behind or what does it take to bring extremely difficult and private emotions to the public limelight?
My questions consume with the Why and What's next, while still hearing and feeling the warmth. Why and What's next cannot be easily answered given how information is hard to find, let alone accurate and objective information, let alone precise descriptions of the future. Hearing and feeling the warmth, truly feeling it, is what I'm learning. Still a trial-and-error process; yet at least, we have ourselves, not outside information, to count on.
College teaches us that finding and knowing the truth is happiness. Really?
Asking the following questions contradicts with my hope that the truth is more beautiful than my doubts.
And yet, the questions are still there:
- What kind of effects people want to create with these China Got Talents clips? Bringing up touching scenes and people in extremely unusual circumstances to make others feel inspired? to make others feel that they're luckier? to make others see there's more to China than the burgeoning middle-class?
- Is everything scripted? ie. is it fake - what's behind or what does it take to bring extremely difficult and private emotions to the public limelight?
My questions consume with the Why and What's next, while still hearing and feeling the warmth. Why and What's next cannot be easily answered given how information is hard to find, let alone accurate and objective information, let alone precise descriptions of the future. Hearing and feeling the warmth, truly feeling it, is what I'm learning. Still a trial-and-error process; yet at least, we have ourselves, not outside information, to count on.
College teaches us that finding and knowing the truth is happiness. Really?
On Friendship
Thanks Victor for resending me this article:
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/
Last time, I only paid attention to the difference between achievements, which require conformity, and leadership, which requires courage. This time, however, I realize I overlooked an equally important message, written in a sweetly serious tone:
"So solitude can mean introspection, it can mean the concentration of focused work, and it can mean sustained reading. All of these help you to know yourself better. But there’s one more thing I’m going to include as a form of solitude, and it will seem counterintuitive: friendship.
Of course friendship is the opposite of solitude; it means being with other people. But I’m talking about one kind of friendship in particular, the deep friendship of intimate conversation. Long, uninterrupted talk with one other person. Not Skyping with three people and texting with two others at the same time while you hang out in a friend’s room listening to music and studying. That’s what Emerson meant when he said that “the soul environs itself with friends, that it may enter into a grander self-acquaintance or solitude.”
Introspection means talking to yourself, and one of the best ways of talking to yourself is by talking to another person. One other person you can trust, one other person to whom you can unfold your soul. One other person you feel safe enough with to allow you to acknowledge things—to acknowledge things to yourself—that you otherwise can’t. Doubts you aren’t supposed to have, questions you aren’t supposed to ask. Feelings or opinions that would get you laughed at by the group or reprimanded by the authorities."
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/
Last time, I only paid attention to the difference between achievements, which require conformity, and leadership, which requires courage. This time, however, I realize I overlooked an equally important message, written in a sweetly serious tone:
"So solitude can mean introspection, it can mean the concentration of focused work, and it can mean sustained reading. All of these help you to know yourself better. But there’s one more thing I’m going to include as a form of solitude, and it will seem counterintuitive: friendship.
Of course friendship is the opposite of solitude; it means being with other people. But I’m talking about one kind of friendship in particular, the deep friendship of intimate conversation. Long, uninterrupted talk with one other person. Not Skyping with three people and texting with two others at the same time while you hang out in a friend’s room listening to music and studying. That’s what Emerson meant when he said that “the soul environs itself with friends, that it may enter into a grander self-acquaintance or solitude.”
Introspection means talking to yourself, and one of the best ways of talking to yourself is by talking to another person. One other person you can trust, one other person to whom you can unfold your soul. One other person you feel safe enough with to allow you to acknowledge things—to acknowledge things to yourself—that you otherwise can’t. Doubts you aren’t supposed to have, questions you aren’t supposed to ask. Feelings or opinions that would get you laughed at by the group or reprimanded by the authorities."
9.24.2010
Switch
From Leng's email
In the book Switch: how to change things when change is hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath (one of whom teaches at Stanford Business School) they describe the idea of Bright Spot (elsewhere called Positive Deviance.) It means rather than looking at something and seeing the problems and trying to solve it, instead, looking at what is going right, and trying to replicate it. The story has been told in many places (including the book)about a particular village in Vietnam that was malnourished. The researchers realized that if they were to try to solve the problems of nutrition, they would also have to solve the problem of poverty, sanitation, and agriculture. Too many problems to solve. So, they look at positive deviance—observing which families were actually healthy and understanding what they were doing right. In two families, they discovered that the mothers with healthy children. They were just as poor as everyone else, but their kids were not malnourished. What were they doing differently? They were feeding their children small crabs, and insects, and weeds that other families considered non-edible. But it was this addition to the diet that allowed their children, who were equally poor and lived in the same conditions as the others, to be more healthy and better nourished. The researchers than used this kind of locally generated knowledge (=bright spots, positive deviance) and spread it to other families in the village. Malnutrition started decreasing. Because these solutions were found from within the village, it was more readily accepted. This method of making change is now utilized in several developmental programs in the world.
In the book Switch: how to change things when change is hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath (one of whom teaches at Stanford Business School) they describe the idea of Bright Spot (elsewhere called Positive Deviance.) It means rather than looking at something and seeing the problems and trying to solve it, instead, looking at what is going right, and trying to replicate it. The story has been told in many places (including the book)about a particular village in Vietnam that was malnourished. The researchers realized that if they were to try to solve the problems of nutrition, they would also have to solve the problem of poverty, sanitation, and agriculture. Too many problems to solve. So, they look at positive deviance—observing which families were actually healthy and understanding what they were doing right. In two families, they discovered that the mothers with healthy children. They were just as poor as everyone else, but their kids were not malnourished. What were they doing differently? They were feeding their children small crabs, and insects, and weeds that other families considered non-edible. But it was this addition to the diet that allowed their children, who were equally poor and lived in the same conditions as the others, to be more healthy and better nourished. The researchers than used this kind of locally generated knowledge (=bright spots, positive deviance) and spread it to other families in the village. Malnutrition started decreasing. Because these solutions were found from within the village, it was more readily accepted. This method of making change is now utilized in several developmental programs in the world.
About Cicles and Chains
Unlike my previous blogs which bring out the emotional (and hence, could be quite depressing) side of me, I hope Circles and Chains will bring hope and faith to readers. Beneath these happy and optimistic words, at times, my friends and I do of course have to go through storms, pretty bad ones - those filled with fears, disappointments, insecurities, despair. And yet, that's also when optimistic words are important, hence my work-in-progress here with Circles and Chains.
Serendipity
A lot of things happening in my life center around the word serendipity. Not just serendipity as sheer chance with unknown reasons. But serendipity as one carries with himself or herself the ultimate faith in life as he or she “learns to get along with life.”
I love coffee shops too much that blowing into them my philosophical musings is nothing but natural. I stumbled upon my most favorite places thanks to serendipity and thanks to faith.
For instance, because our first restaurant for Chung’s birthday was full, we went to another one. Next to that one, we saw a quaintly-looking French café bistro named Le jardin de Sao Mai. From its pictures of the walk downtown Paris, traversing Le Tour de Eiffel, the gardens, the bridge, the boulevard, to the menu full of cheese and croissants, to the many colors windows, all warm my heart.
Next one, I stumbled upon l’Usine while on my way to the Japanese restaurant nextdoor. Yet, the Japanese restaurant was closed, leaving me with not many options but to check out l’Usine. A full space for … space and creativity. The best cakes and quiche in town. L’Usine gives me this this-is-different-from-anything-else-in-the-city feeling. Nothing is particularly beautiful, nor does it carry the meticulous air like French café shops. Yet, the history is stunning. It was a dance studio, a library, a house since the 1800s. No doubt, l’Usine is on my list of cool places to check out with friends.
Similarly, I found this beautiful grass yard on Intercontinental because we were banned to stay at the rooftop private lounge! Little did I know how I could have such a fresh view of the central city landmarks from this green field.
Serendipity did not come to me when I was stuck with my closed walls and doors. Only when I set myself to serenity and happiness could happy serendipities start to come.
Thank you, for coming.
Journey in progress
Sep 1, 2009
We have learned a great deal about establishing long-term partnership and the need to set clear expectations. We are still waiting to hear from Alex.
Meanwhile, thanks to that 2-hour conversation at 1am with Alex, the frustrated me created an official proposal to him and yola’s full lines of product ideas that include the Admissions BootCamp for the College Prep arm.
The next day, before we know it, we are renovating our 2nd floor office 40m2 with low rental fee. Another good twist from having our top office space on Ly Chinh Thang “stolen” by another customer. Good key-takeaway: last-minute changes bring in even more exciting twists and turns, forcing us to try harder and think harder.
At times, I ask myself whether we go on the right direction. Admissions counseling for the rich would help those who would need it least. Why am I just one player in this whole unequal game? Why am I not helping those who would need it most? My immediate answer would just be well I need to learn how to make money, how to make a successful business first before being able to help. Yet, that answer is not satisfying enough.
We then had a long conversation with chi My on Vinagame’s culture and history. Luck and perseverance in the initial stage, and then culture and human development for the next stage, as well as finding people experienced in business to be in leadership positions.
Things are still very muggy and chaotic.
September 18, 2010 – Today we organize Trung Thu for our students and parents. Auction for SEALNet. The event is big and will be stressful, and yet I feel serene. Our team has gone through so much that we are sure that our bond at least among us 3 the cofounders has been extremely tightened. And for that, I’m thankful – thankful for all the storms that brought us together.
It will be a busy time as we move on to the next chapter. We will live and work along the way – striving, hard. :)
Bear & Old man
Misha: http://www.slide.com/r/EBrtnxS11j-SVCRMRVxgSEArLFQRnVtr?previous_view=lt_embedded_url
Seihout: http://www.slide.com/r/ePCrj9GUtz8abaiHfdiJZpl3ghmj8D_s?previous_view=lt_embedded_url
Seihout: http://www.slide.com/r/ePCrj9GUtz8abaiHfdiJZpl3ghmj8D_s?previous_view=lt_embedded_url
KT's facebook
| show details 6/6/09 |
--------------------
Re: Graduation
This is so amazing indeed Tu. I still remember the first time we met, when Grace and I drove you and Viet to a picnic in San Francisco, you were so quiet then. You have certainly come a long way, and I'm glad we shared the past few years pulling late nights and shaping SEALNet into what it is today.
I've just left the PM team this afternoon, and can already see the ripples emanating from a few bright sparks among the high school students, as well as potential PLs in a few of the college members. Congrats with graduation Tu, and I look forward to many years to come of working together.
Kevin
Co president quotes
KB's email: Ex and Current Co Presidents and KT,
For the send off presentation for the SEALNet send-off, would you please send your quotes for one or all of the following qns:-
For the send off presentation for the SEALNet send-off, would you please send your quotes for one or all of the following qns:-
Reply:
- in your own words, what defines the sealnet way
Ripple effects of kindness, commitment to service, and dedication to each other's growth - what is the most important learning you had from sealnet
KT (not literally every word): There is always risk in everything. Follow your omen.
KB's advice to Tu on dating: "I want a phenomenal relationship centered on values and service"
KB's advice to Tu on dating: "I want a phenomenal relationship centered on values and service"
- what is the greatest positive impact you made
- what is sealnet
SEALNet is about building real and lasting relationships with a purpose of supporting each other to make impacts to our community
- what you hope sealnet is going to be (first asian peace corp etc)
Directionless searching
fwded from a friend:
A refreshing perspective from FT:
A friend of mine recently met a young American woman who was studying on a Rhodes Scholarship at Oxford. She already had two degrees from top US universities, had worked as a lawyer and as a
social worker in the US, and somewhere along the way had acquired a black belt in kung fu. Now, however, her course at Oxford was coming to an end and she was thoroughly angst-ridden about what to do next.
Her problem was no ordinary one.
She couldn't decide whether she should make a lot of money as a corporate lawyer/management consultant, devote herself to charity work helping battered wives in disadvantaged Communities, or go to Hollywood to work as a stunt double in kung fu films. What most struck my friend was not the disparity of this woman's choices, but the earnestness and bad grace with which she ruminated on them. It was almost as though she begrudged her own talents, Opportunities and freedom - as though the world had treated her unkindly by forcing her to make such a hard choice.
Her case is symptomatic of our times. In recent years, there has
grown up a culture of discontent among the highly educated young
something that seems to flare up, especially, when people reach their
late 20s and early 30s. It arises not from frustration caused by lack
of opportunity, as may have been true in the past, but from an excess
of possibilities.
Most theories of adult developmental psychology have a special
category for those in their late 20s and early 30s. Whereas the early
to mid-20s are seen as a time to establish one's mode of living, the
late 20s to early 30s are often considered a period of reappraisal. In
a society where people marry and have children young, where financial
burdens accumulate early, and where job markets are inflexible, such
appraisals may not last long. But when people manage to remain free of
financial or family burdens, and where the perceived opportunities for
alternative careers are many, the reappraisal is likely to be strong.
Among no social group is this more true than the modern,
International, professional elite: that tribe of young bankers,
lawyers, consultants and managers for whom financial, familial,
personal, corporate and (increasingly) national ties have become
irrelevant. Often they grew up in one country, were educated in
another, and are now working in a third.
They are independent, well paid, and enriched by experiences that many
of their parents could only dream of. Yet, by their late 20s, many
carry a sense of disappointment: that for all their opportunities,
freedoms and achievements, life has not delivered quite what they had
hoped. At the heart of this disillusionment lies a new attitude
towards work.
The idea has grown up, in recent years, that work should not be just a
means to an end a way to make money, support a family, or gain social
prestige but should provide a rich and fulfilling experience in and of
itself. Jobs are no longer just jobs; they are lifestyle options.
Recruiters at financial companies, consultancies and law firms have
promoted this conception of work. Job advertisements promise
challenge, wide experiences, opportunities for travel and relentless
personal development.
Michael is a 33-year-old management consultant who has bought into
this vision of late-20th century work. Intelligent and well-educated -
with three degrees, including a doctorate - he works in Munich, and
has a "stable, long-distance relationship" with a woman living in
California. He takes 140 flights a year and works an average of 80
hours a week. Some weeks he works more than 100 hours.
When asked if he likes his job, he will say: "I enjoy what I'm
doing in terms of the intellectual challenges." Although he earns a
lot, he doesn't spend much. He rents a small apartment, though he is
rarely there, and has accumulated very few possessions. He justifies
the long hours not in terms of wealth-acquisition, but solely as part
of a "learning experience".
This attitude to work has several interesting implications, mostly to
do with the shifting balance between work and non-work, employment and
leisure. Because fulfilling and engrossing work - the sort that is
thought to provide the most intense learning experience - often
requires long hours or captivates the imagination for long periods of
time, it is easy to slip into the idea that the converse is also true:
that just by working long hours, one is also engaging in fulfilling
and engrossing work. This leads to the popular fallacy that you can
measure the value of your job (and, therefore, the amount you are
learning from it) by the amount of time you spend on it. And,
incidentally, when a premium is placed on learning rather than
earning, people are particularly susceptible to this form of
self-deceit.
Thus, whereas in the past, when people in their 20s or 30s spoke
disparagingly about nine-to-five jobs it was invariably because they
were seen as too routine, too unimaginative, or too bourgeois. Now, it
is simply because they don't contain enough hours.
Young professionals have not suddenly developed a distaste for
leisure, but they have solidly bought into the belief that a 45-hour
week necessarily signifies an unfulfilling job. Jane, a 29-year-old
corporate lawyer who works in the City of London, tells a story about
working on a deal with another lawyer, a young man in his early 30s.
At about 3am, he leant over the boardroom desk and said: "Isn't this
great? This is when I really love my job." What most struck her about
the remark was that the work was irrelevant (she says it was actually
rather boring); her colleague simply liked the idea of working late.
"It's as though he was validated, or making his life important by
this," she says.
Unfortunately, when people can convince themselves that all they
need do in order to lead fulfilled and happy lives is to work long
hours, they can quickly start to lose reasons for their existence. As
they start to think of their employment as a lifestyle, fulfilling and
rewarding of itself - and in which the reward is proportional to hours
worked - people rapidly begin to substitute work for other aspects of
their lives.
Michael, the management consultant, is a good example of this
phenomenon. He is prepared to trade (his word) not just goods and time
for the experience afforded by his work, but also a substantial
measure of commitment in his personal relationships. In a few months,
he is being transferred to San Francisco, where he will move in with
his girlfriend. But he's not sure that living the same house is
actually going to change the amount of time he spends on his
relationship. "Once I move over, my time involvement on my
relationship will not change significantly. My job takes up most of my
time and pretty much dominates what I do, when, where and how I do
it," he says. Moreover, the reluctance to commit time to a
relationship because they are learning so much, and having such an
intense and fulfilling time at work is compounded, for some young
professionals, by a reluctance to have a long-term relationship at
all.
Today, by the time someone reaches 30, they could easily have had
three or four jobs in as many different cities - which is not, as it
is often portrayed, a function of an insecure global job-market, but
of choice. Robert is 30 years old. He has three degrees and has worked
on three continents. He is currently working for the United Nations in
Geneva. For him, the most significant deterrent when deciding whether
to enter into a relationship is the likely transient nature of the
rest of his life. "What is the point in investing all this emotional
energy and exposing myself in a relationship, if I am leaving in two
months, or if I do not know what I am doing next year?" he says.
Such is the character of the modern, international professional, at
least throughout his or her 20s. Spare time, goods and relationships,
these are all willingly traded for the exigencies of work. Nothing is
valued so highly as accumulated experience. Nothing is neglected so
much as commitment. With this work ethic - or perhaps one should call
it a "professional development ethic" - becoming so powerful, the
globally mobile generation now in its late 20s and early 30s has
garnered considerable professional success. At what point, though,
does the experience-seeking end?
Kathryn is a successful American academic, 29, who bucked the trend
of her generation: she recently turned her life round for someone
else. She moved to the UK, specifically, to be with a man, a decision
that she says few of her contemporaries understood. "We're not meant
to say: 'I made this decision for this person. Today, you're meant to
do things for yourself. If you're willing to make sacrifices for
others - especially if you're a woman - that's seen as a kind of
weakness. I wonder, though, is doing things for yourself really
empowerment, or is liberty a kind of trap?" she says.
For many, it is a trap that is difficult to break out of, not least
because they are so caught up in a culture of professional
development. And spoilt for choice, some like the American Rhodes
Scholar no doubt become paralysed by their opportunities, unable to do
much else in their lives, because they are so determined not to let a
single one of their chances slip. If that means minimal personal
commitments well into their 30s, so be it. "Loneliness is better than
boredom" is Jane's philosophy.
And, although she knows "a lot of professional single women who
would give it all up if they met a rich man to marry", she remains far
more concerned herself about finding fulfillment at work. "I am
constantly questioning whether I am doing the right thing here," she
says. "There's an eternal search for a more challenging and satisfying
option, a better lifestyle. You always feel you're not doing the right
thing always feel as if you should be striving for another goal," she
says.
Jane, Michael, Robert and Kathryn grew up as part of a generation
with fewer social constraints determining their futures than has been
true for probably any other generation in history. They were taught at
school that when they grew up they could "do anything", "be anything".
It was an idea that was reinforced by popular culture, in films, books
and television.
The notion that one can do anything is clearly liberating. But life
without constraints has also proved a recipe for endless searching,
endless questioning of aspirations. It has made this generation
obsessed with self-development and determined, for as long as
possible, to minimise personal commitments in order to maximise the
options open to them. One might see this as a sign of extended
adolescence.
Eventually, they will be forced to realise that living is as much
about closing possibilities as it is about creating them.
A refreshing perspective from FT:
A friend of mine recently met a young American woman who was studying on a Rhodes Scholarship at Oxford. She already had two degrees from top US universities, had worked as a lawyer and as a
social worker in the US, and somewhere along the way had acquired a black belt in kung fu. Now, however, her course at Oxford was coming to an end and she was thoroughly angst-ridden about what to do next.
Her problem was no ordinary one.
She couldn't decide whether she should make a lot of money as a corporate lawyer/management consultant, devote herself to charity work helping battered wives in disadvantaged Communities, or go to Hollywood to work as a stunt double in kung fu films. What most struck my friend was not the disparity of this woman's choices, but the earnestness and bad grace with which she ruminated on them. It was almost as though she begrudged her own talents, Opportunities and freedom - as though the world had treated her unkindly by forcing her to make such a hard choice.
Her case is symptomatic of our times. In recent years, there has
grown up a culture of discontent among the highly educated young
something that seems to flare up, especially, when people reach their
late 20s and early 30s. It arises not from frustration caused by lack
of opportunity, as may have been true in the past, but from an excess
of possibilities.
Most theories of adult developmental psychology have a special
category for those in their late 20s and early 30s. Whereas the early
to mid-20s are seen as a time to establish one's mode of living, the
late 20s to early 30s are often considered a period of reappraisal. In
a society where people marry and have children young, where financial
burdens accumulate early, and where job markets are inflexible, such
appraisals may not last long. But when people manage to remain free of
financial or family burdens, and where the perceived opportunities for
alternative careers are many, the reappraisal is likely to be strong.
Among no social group is this more true than the modern,
International, professional elite: that tribe of young bankers,
lawyers, consultants and managers for whom financial, familial,
personal, corporate and (increasingly) national ties have become
irrelevant. Often they grew up in one country, were educated in
another, and are now working in a third.
They are independent, well paid, and enriched by experiences that many
of their parents could only dream of. Yet, by their late 20s, many
carry a sense of disappointment: that for all their opportunities,
freedoms and achievements, life has not delivered quite what they had
hoped. At the heart of this disillusionment lies a new attitude
towards work.
The idea has grown up, in recent years, that work should not be just a
means to an end a way to make money, support a family, or gain social
prestige but should provide a rich and fulfilling experience in and of
itself. Jobs are no longer just jobs; they are lifestyle options.
Recruiters at financial companies, consultancies and law firms have
promoted this conception of work. Job advertisements promise
challenge, wide experiences, opportunities for travel and relentless
personal development.
Michael is a 33-year-old management consultant who has bought into
this vision of late-20th century work. Intelligent and well-educated -
with three degrees, including a doctorate - he works in Munich, and
has a "stable, long-distance relationship" with a woman living in
California. He takes 140 flights a year and works an average of 80
hours a week. Some weeks he works more than 100 hours.
When asked if he likes his job, he will say: "I enjoy what I'm
doing in terms of the intellectual challenges." Although he earns a
lot, he doesn't spend much. He rents a small apartment, though he is
rarely there, and has accumulated very few possessions. He justifies
the long hours not in terms of wealth-acquisition, but solely as part
of a "learning experience".
This attitude to work has several interesting implications, mostly to
do with the shifting balance between work and non-work, employment and
leisure. Because fulfilling and engrossing work - the sort that is
thought to provide the most intense learning experience - often
requires long hours or captivates the imagination for long periods of
time, it is easy to slip into the idea that the converse is also true:
that just by working long hours, one is also engaging in fulfilling
and engrossing work. This leads to the popular fallacy that you can
measure the value of your job (and, therefore, the amount you are
learning from it) by the amount of time you spend on it. And,
incidentally, when a premium is placed on learning rather than
earning, people are particularly susceptible to this form of
self-deceit.
Thus, whereas in the past, when people in their 20s or 30s spoke
disparagingly about nine-to-five jobs it was invariably because they
were seen as too routine, too unimaginative, or too bourgeois. Now, it
is simply because they don't contain enough hours.
Young professionals have not suddenly developed a distaste for
leisure, but they have solidly bought into the belief that a 45-hour
week necessarily signifies an unfulfilling job. Jane, a 29-year-old
corporate lawyer who works in the City of London, tells a story about
working on a deal with another lawyer, a young man in his early 30s.
At about 3am, he leant over the boardroom desk and said: "Isn't this
great? This is when I really love my job." What most struck her about
the remark was that the work was irrelevant (she says it was actually
rather boring); her colleague simply liked the idea of working late.
"It's as though he was validated, or making his life important by
this," she says.
Unfortunately, when people can convince themselves that all they
need do in order to lead fulfilled and happy lives is to work long
hours, they can quickly start to lose reasons for their existence. As
they start to think of their employment as a lifestyle, fulfilling and
rewarding of itself - and in which the reward is proportional to hours
worked - people rapidly begin to substitute work for other aspects of
their lives.
Michael, the management consultant, is a good example of this
phenomenon. He is prepared to trade (his word) not just goods and time
for the experience afforded by his work, but also a substantial
measure of commitment in his personal relationships. In a few months,
he is being transferred to San Francisco, where he will move in with
his girlfriend. But he's not sure that living the same house is
actually going to change the amount of time he spends on his
relationship. "Once I move over, my time involvement on my
relationship will not change significantly. My job takes up most of my
time and pretty much dominates what I do, when, where and how I do
it," he says. Moreover, the reluctance to commit time to a
relationship because they are learning so much, and having such an
intense and fulfilling time at work is compounded, for some young
professionals, by a reluctance to have a long-term relationship at
all.
Today, by the time someone reaches 30, they could easily have had
three or four jobs in as many different cities - which is not, as it
is often portrayed, a function of an insecure global job-market, but
of choice. Robert is 30 years old. He has three degrees and has worked
on three continents. He is currently working for the United Nations in
Geneva. For him, the most significant deterrent when deciding whether
to enter into a relationship is the likely transient nature of the
rest of his life. "What is the point in investing all this emotional
energy and exposing myself in a relationship, if I am leaving in two
months, or if I do not know what I am doing next year?" he says.
Such is the character of the modern, international professional, at
least throughout his or her 20s. Spare time, goods and relationships,
these are all willingly traded for the exigencies of work. Nothing is
valued so highly as accumulated experience. Nothing is neglected so
much as commitment. With this work ethic - or perhaps one should call
it a "professional development ethic" - becoming so powerful, the
globally mobile generation now in its late 20s and early 30s has
garnered considerable professional success. At what point, though,
does the experience-seeking end?
Kathryn is a successful American academic, 29, who bucked the trend
of her generation: she recently turned her life round for someone
else. She moved to the UK, specifically, to be with a man, a decision
that she says few of her contemporaries understood. "We're not meant
to say: 'I made this decision for this person. Today, you're meant to
do things for yourself. If you're willing to make sacrifices for
others - especially if you're a woman - that's seen as a kind of
weakness. I wonder, though, is doing things for yourself really
empowerment, or is liberty a kind of trap?" she says.
For many, it is a trap that is difficult to break out of, not least
because they are so caught up in a culture of professional
development. And spoilt for choice, some like the American Rhodes
Scholar no doubt become paralysed by their opportunities, unable to do
much else in their lives, because they are so determined not to let a
single one of their chances slip. If that means minimal personal
commitments well into their 30s, so be it. "Loneliness is better than
boredom" is Jane's philosophy.
And, although she knows "a lot of professional single women who
would give it all up if they met a rich man to marry", she remains far
more concerned herself about finding fulfillment at work. "I am
constantly questioning whether I am doing the right thing here," she
says. "There's an eternal search for a more challenging and satisfying
option, a better lifestyle. You always feel you're not doing the right
thing always feel as if you should be striving for another goal," she
says.
Jane, Michael, Robert and Kathryn grew up as part of a generation
with fewer social constraints determining their futures than has been
true for probably any other generation in history. They were taught at
school that when they grew up they could "do anything", "be anything".
It was an idea that was reinforced by popular culture, in films, books
and television.
The notion that one can do anything is clearly liberating. But life
without constraints has also proved a recipe for endless searching,
endless questioning of aspirations. It has made this generation
obsessed with self-development and determined, for as long as
possible, to minimise personal commitments in order to maximise the
options open to them. One might see this as a sign of extended
adolescence.
Eventually, they will be forced to realise that living is as much
about closing possibilities as it is about creating them.
Career advice I hold close to
Hi Tu,
I am glad you are seeking advice from different people.
My opinion is that it’s pretty hard to plan a career. I have friends who’ve wanted to be IBankers or top consultants, and it hasn’t happened. VC’s been pretty hard to get into. I don’t know how one gets into VC. I think some get in through IB experience---and that industry is in dust. Then those get in from having run companies themselves.
I think the key is this. If Vietnam is where you are committed, then go live there soon. Or if you need skills to be developed, then live elsewhere, but make sure the business is focused on Vietnam. Where you live is where you will gain insights, meet people and understand opportunities. There are many many ways to contribute to your country other than through VC. You might want to join the government. Setting good policies will have a much better effect at this stage. You won’t make lots of money compared to VC, but you’ll do more. My friend Kathy Lai from United World College is Deputy CEO of Enterprise International Singapore, used to be called the Trade Development Board. She isn’t rich, but she helps Singapore a ton more than commercial people.
If you want to head to being a VC, or in technology, then you must gain technical and domain expertise skills to start with. Consulting is good, and you’ll have to suck up to the long hours. But as you discovered, what made your consulting not so fun was working by yourself and in front of a computer. Rule one of a successful career, look for a place with mentors, with people ahead of you whom you can learn from.
Some companies are reknown for excellence---join these. Unilever, Goldman, McKinsey, Johnson and Johnson, Toyota. Of course, they may not get you to VC (but then again, I don’t’ know how to do that.)
I don’t advocate planning for a career. I advocate planning to 1) Live near,at where you heart and mission is, 2) developing yourself by way of domain expertise, 3) increasing your own emotional and psychological intelligence, 4) build real, reliable and diverse relationships---this goes beyond mere networking, 5)find a life mate who respects you, wants you to grow, isn’t afraid of your power. The partnership you form with that life mate will determine your impact, your wealth and your happiness. I think #5 is the wild card.
Best,
Leng
I am glad you are seeking advice from different people.
My opinion is that it’s pretty hard to plan a career. I have friends who’ve wanted to be IBankers or top consultants, and it hasn’t happened. VC’s been pretty hard to get into. I don’t know how one gets into VC. I think some get in through IB experience---and that industry is in dust. Then those get in from having run companies themselves.
I think the key is this. If Vietnam is where you are committed, then go live there soon. Or if you need skills to be developed, then live elsewhere, but make sure the business is focused on Vietnam. Where you live is where you will gain insights, meet people and understand opportunities. There are many many ways to contribute to your country other than through VC. You might want to join the government. Setting good policies will have a much better effect at this stage. You won’t make lots of money compared to VC, but you’ll do more. My friend Kathy Lai from United World College is Deputy CEO of Enterprise International Singapore, used to be called the Trade Development Board. She isn’t rich, but she helps Singapore a ton more than commercial people.
If you want to head to being a VC, or in technology, then you must gain technical and domain expertise skills to start with. Consulting is good, and you’ll have to suck up to the long hours. But as you discovered, what made your consulting not so fun was working by yourself and in front of a computer. Rule one of a successful career, look for a place with mentors, with people ahead of you whom you can learn from.
Some companies are reknown for excellence---join these. Unilever, Goldman, McKinsey, Johnson and Johnson, Toyota. Of course, they may not get you to VC (but then again, I don’t’ know how to do that.)
I don’t advocate planning for a career. I advocate planning to 1) Live near,at where you heart and mission is, 2) developing yourself by way of domain expertise, 3) increasing your own emotional and psychological intelligence, 4) build real, reliable and diverse relationships---this goes beyond mere networking, 5)find a life mate who respects you, wants you to grow, isn’t afraid of your power. The partnership you form with that life mate will determine your impact, your wealth and your happiness. I think #5 is the wild card.
Best,
Leng
Leng's email - Elite education
A friend forwarded this that I just read, and was really struck by it. It is a critique of the elite universities, and their tacit support of privilege, and complacency, and the creation of a class of people who substitute form for substance—and are not aware of it.
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/the-disadvantages-of-an-elite-education/
I send it to you because you are 1) like me, a product of some of these elite universities, or 2) you are hoping to get into these places, or 3) you help people get into them! Not that climbing the ladder of achievement or privilege is wrong, nor that we are not free to choose the normative values of our own life. However, the creation of an unthinking and unreflective elite—by universities, corporations, special scholarship schemes and selection process, civil service selections, etc.—is a concern, at least to anyone who is educated (in the broadest definition of education), because education ought to help the many, not the few.
If you’ll excuse my normative slight of hand in the above, the educated mind tries to at least not be too self-delusional. But if Marshall Goldsmith’s What got you here won’t get you there, and Malcolm Gladwell’s Outlier , both of which are about “successful” people, are right, the successful (including those well educated) are self-delusional. The successful drivers that successful people attribute to themselves are post-hoc narratives. Gladwell suggests that Gates and Jobs et al are successful because they rode a generational wave—people born in the 1950’s who came of age in their 20’s during the birth of a new technology. Goldsmith, arguably the most influential executive coach, would say that successful people were given more breaks than they would care to admit, or could even recognize. Ability was never a sufficient reason, and sometimes, not even a necessary one.
Your thoughts are welcome.
Leng
Leng Lim
"Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in a lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope.Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love--Reinhold Niebuhr"
Events @Yola or related
A non-exhaustive list:
- Le Hong Phong Scholars Cup
- Scholarship Competitions
- Yola Soccer Championship
- Congratulations Dinner
- Mid-Autumn Charity Auction: Sharing Happiness
- Lots of info sessions
- Education USA Pre-Departure Orientation
- Year-end party: High school musical
- Sponsoring SEALNet, International University Business plan competition, VietAbroader conferences
- Le Hong Phong Scholars Cup
- Scholarship Competitions
- Yola Soccer Championship
- Congratulations Dinner
- Mid-Autumn Charity Auction: Sharing Happiness
- Lots of info sessions
- Education USA Pre-Departure Orientation
- Year-end party: High school musical
- Sponsoring SEALNet, International University Business plan competition, VietAbroader conferences
Gaming the SAT
The statistics and reports have bias of whoever created them. College Board reports say that there's no actual change w test prep courses and advise students using only CB's stuff. Kaplan says that there are actual changes in their students' scores. The National Association consists of mostly high school counselors, whom, because of the admissions political game, cannot say that they like private admissions/college prep entities. But then, when they retire, they become private entities themselves =) Likewise, college counselors cannot say outright that they need elite students even though they truly need them to keep the elite circle running. Hence, they have to say that they favor the poor, even though only a handful of them are need-blind.
When people measure students' changes in test scores, the initial student sample has to come from the same score range, similar student backgrounds/ family backgrounds, and controlling for the type of coaches/teachers they have for us to have any better insights on our course performance. Maybe Yola can do this test one day? :)
This article brings up an interesting perspective on how the results delivered by for-profits vs. non-profit school may not be that big http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/22/nyregion/22private.html - the important lies, with both types of school, in how good the management is (efficient, result-oriented, etc.)
Over time, I realize that teachers are not there for the knowledge. With the right motivation, anything can be self-learned. The key thing is that in those transforming years, students will form habits that will stay with them when becoming adults and those include: how to learn, how to manage time, how to ask for help, how to stay focused and determined, how to be accountable with others, and how to make decisions. That's why good teachers are needed. That's where Yola's value is important, not the change in test scores, even though that's the only tangible metrics we can boast about.
Tu
On Fri, Sep 24, 2010 at 4:42 PM, Duy Phan | Yola Institute <duyphan@yola.vn> wrote:
The schools actually are the ones who created the frenzy about the SAT. They now are kicking the ball away from their field.
When people measure students' changes in test scores, the initial student sample has to come from the same score range, similar student backgrounds/ family backgrounds, and controlling for the type of coaches/teachers they have for us to have any better insights on our course performance. Maybe Yola can do this test one day? :)
This article brings up an interesting perspective on how the results delivered by for-profits vs. non-profit school may not be that big http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/22/nyregion/22private.html - the important lies, with both types of school, in how good the management is (efficient, result-oriented, etc.)
Over time, I realize that teachers are not there for the knowledge. With the right motivation, anything can be self-learned. The key thing is that in those transforming years, students will form habits that will stay with them when becoming adults and those include: how to learn, how to manage time, how to ask for help, how to stay focused and determined, how to be accountable with others, and how to make decisions. That's why good teachers are needed. That's where Yola's value is important, not the change in test scores, even though that's the only tangible metrics we can boast about.
Tu
- Hide quoted text -
On Fri, Sep 24, 2010 at 4:42 PM, Duy Phan | Yola Institute <duyphan@yola.vn> wrote:
The schools actually are the ones who created the frenzy about the SAT. They now are kicking the ball away from their field.
On Fri, Sep 24, 2010 at 4:27 PM, Khoa Pham | Yola Institute <khoapham@yola.vn> wrote:
Tu and Duy, what do you think?http://www.unigo.com/articles/gaming_the_sat/?taxonomyId=760030
On Happiness
Despite being positive at heart and usually exuding a calm take in high-stress environments, I have never found myself satisfied. There are still so many things I believe should be somehow better.
Over the past few months after graduation, it is interesting that the concept of "happiness" has been refined in my mind. Innocently enough, in college and earlier, I equated happiness with any fun and happy feeling. Later, as my life tried and reflected, happiness is the equanimity, the peace with oneself, others, and the world. It is the reassurance feeling of one's worth and one's company of trustworthy and loving communities. We and our loved ones may not always bring laughters to each other; yet, we are there for each other, supporting each other on our journey of responding, sailing, fighting against, failing, and succeeding with life's calls.
At present though, I struggle with the disparity between my seemingly clear life goals and what it is that I really want. If making impacts on high school students is one of the immediate goals, why is it that I refrain from giving my students those inspiring messages that pretty much all mentors have told me: it is for sure that we can find a job to support ourselves, yet it is our challenge to both do that and create some changes that improve the lives of a few others, if not many.
One student asked me why the way I chose my major in college has more to do with what I can do for others than what the major can offer to me. I just gave her a smile. Deep inside, I know I'm not doing this right. I'll change.
Another student talked to me about wanting to create his mark in life and not standing behind others. I supported and yet, still gave him these puzzling and melancholic thoughts on why is it that we have to race with others and how it may be just as happy and liberating to follow one's own ideals and interests, not the world's. As we ended our conversation, I couldn't help but asking myself if I have just asked this young man to stop dreaming big and being ambitious. Once more, I need to do this thing differently.
Another friend has money to start something. His goal is to make money even when he's already so wealthy. Why is it that I cannot find the courage to tell him to explore social enterprising business models, rather than just enclosing ourselves within conventional businesses?
Another friend concluded that from now to our early 30s, he wanted to provide enough for his family first, and then will contribute. I disagreed, but did not say anything, standing with my principle of respecting others' life choices. Why is it that I forgot to tell him about the lesson on making it a habit to give our time to others starting even when we don't have zillions yet, both because we may not survive until the day we see there is enough money, and also, if small giving is not practiced, big giving could be hard to realized, or realized yet with the risk of not understanding the people, the situations, not building new solutions.
It could be because in the environment that I'm living in, striving to make a living, or, to believe that one's life standard can be ensured, if not better than the *average *, is the common vibe. I was afraid that if I tell my students otherwise, not that they will be called crazy by their parents, but that they will become disappointed once they enter the world.
It could be because me myself is ambivalent on how one can make real difference in this society. If I don't see clearly how I am realizing my goals of impacts and still getting wealthy, who am I to tell my students to consider that path when there is simpler, less risky, and more approved (hence, easier) paths for them? Being a teacher and a counselor has required me to give decisive and one-sided statements, too many to the point that I'm uncomfortable. I could analyze different perspectives to students and parents; yet, at the end of the day, they want a definite answer. I did look for these definite keys from KB and KT a few years ago but at present, I feel I'm unequipped in life experiences to give the counseling. I could give out words but I want the words to be more helpful that they are now, to be both pragmatic and idealist.
I want to share these stories with friends and yet at the same time, I'm afraid that my thoughts are irrelevant to them, most of whom at this stage of our lives (early 20s, fresh grads), want to focus on ourselves and our own careers first. Plus, I would appear overly self-centered and self-righteous, both of which is not my real intentions. But I never know, it could be my unconscious habits.
Being a teacher is the last thing I ever thought of. The job just came to me exactly a few months ago. I always loved being on stage, acting, and improvising. I know the job is incompatible to my personality: it produces results very slowly. And when it does, the results are only on a level of countable numbers of students. But it should not be any more different than being a lab assistant at first working on who-knows-how-many-tedious-procedures, or being in a first-year corporate job unable to make powerful decisions. Clearly, college didn't teach me to be patient and take a long time horizon with my career =p
One very special someone asked me why I like VN so much. Truth be told, beside my family, there's not really anything that I prefer in VN more than in Hong Kong, Singapore, unexplored Asian cities, or California, Boston, New York, etc. I hold different loves and could explore little corners and people in each place to enjoy myself. What entices me to HCMC is less accurate than what motivates me: it's where I can best leverage my network and resources to build a tangible business.
Or, there's just no rational reason to my motivation... since it just feels right that I'm here at this moment (ie. this year) - it's like when we are with the right person, we wouldn't ask why we don't choose to go with others, even when everyone's equally nice :)
Over the past few months after graduation, it is interesting that the concept of "happiness" has been refined in my mind. Innocently enough, in college and earlier, I equated happiness with any fun and happy feeling. Later, as my life tried and reflected, happiness is the equanimity, the peace with oneself, others, and the world. It is the reassurance feeling of one's worth and one's company of trustworthy and loving communities. We and our loved ones may not always bring laughters to each other; yet, we are there for each other, supporting each other on our journey of responding, sailing, fighting against, failing, and succeeding with life's calls.
At present though, I struggle with the disparity between my seemingly clear life goals and what it is that I really want. If making impacts on high school students is one of the immediate goals, why is it that I refrain from giving my students those inspiring messages that pretty much all mentors have told me: it is for sure that we can find a job to support ourselves, yet it is our challenge to both do that and create some changes that improve the lives of a few others, if not many.
One student asked me why the way I chose my major in college has more to do with what I can do for others than what the major can offer to me. I just gave her a smile. Deep inside, I know I'm not doing this right. I'll change.
Another student talked to me about wanting to create his mark in life and not standing behind others. I supported and yet, still gave him these puzzling and melancholic thoughts on why is it that we have to race with others and how it may be just as happy and liberating to follow one's own ideals and interests, not the world's. As we ended our conversation, I couldn't help but asking myself if I have just asked this young man to stop dreaming big and being ambitious. Once more, I need to do this thing differently.
Another friend has money to start something. His goal is to make money even when he's already so wealthy. Why is it that I cannot find the courage to tell him to explore social enterprising business models, rather than just enclosing ourselves within conventional businesses?
Another friend concluded that from now to our early 30s, he wanted to provide enough for his family first, and then will contribute. I disagreed, but did not say anything, standing with my principle of respecting others' life choices. Why is it that I forgot to tell him about the lesson on making it a habit to give our time to others starting even when we don't have zillions yet, both because we may not survive until the day we see there is enough money, and also, if small giving is not practiced, big giving could be hard to realized, or realized yet with the risk of not understanding the people, the situations, not building new solutions.
It could be because in the environment that I'm living in, striving to make a living, or, to believe that one's life standard can be ensured, if not better than the *average *, is the common vibe. I was afraid that if I tell my students otherwise, not that they will be called crazy by their parents, but that they will become disappointed once they enter the world.
It could be because me myself is ambivalent on how one can make real difference in this society. If I don't see clearly how I am realizing my goals of impacts and still getting wealthy, who am I to tell my students to consider that path when there is simpler, less risky, and more approved (hence, easier) paths for them? Being a teacher and a counselor has required me to give decisive and one-sided statements, too many to the point that I'm uncomfortable. I could analyze different perspectives to students and parents; yet, at the end of the day, they want a definite answer. I did look for these definite keys from KB and KT a few years ago but at present, I feel I'm unequipped in life experiences to give the counseling. I could give out words but I want the words to be more helpful that they are now, to be both pragmatic and idealist.
I want to share these stories with friends and yet at the same time, I'm afraid that my thoughts are irrelevant to them, most of whom at this stage of our lives (early 20s, fresh grads), want to focus on ourselves and our own careers first. Plus, I would appear overly self-centered and self-righteous, both of which is not my real intentions. But I never know, it could be my unconscious habits.
Being a teacher is the last thing I ever thought of. The job just came to me exactly a few months ago. I always loved being on stage, acting, and improvising. I know the job is incompatible to my personality: it produces results very slowly. And when it does, the results are only on a level of countable numbers of students. But it should not be any more different than being a lab assistant at first working on who-knows-how-many-tedious-procedures, or being in a first-year corporate job unable to make powerful decisions. Clearly, college didn't teach me to be patient and take a long time horizon with my career =p
One very special someone asked me why I like VN so much. Truth be told, beside my family, there's not really anything that I prefer in VN more than in Hong Kong, Singapore, unexplored Asian cities, or California, Boston, New York, etc. I hold different loves and could explore little corners and people in each place to enjoy myself. What entices me to HCMC is less accurate than what motivates me: it's where I can best leverage my network and resources to build a tangible business.
Or, there's just no rational reason to my motivation... since it just feels right that I'm here at this moment (ie. this year) - it's like when we are with the right person, we wouldn't ask why we don't choose to go with others, even when everyone's equally nice :)
New Year Parties 2010
I hung out with so many different individuals these days.
1. That party was .. new lol My college friends never drink to show off. They drink and drink. The point is to have fun and chill. This group of friends also drink to have fun but also, to a certain extent, to show off how cool they may be. Nothing wrong. Self-flattering is a very basic human need.
2. Expats do party hard over here. They form a culture of "cool, fun, and well, professional" - Cool, fun, professional - huh, isn't that how I want to be too? Am I, unconsciously, trying to integrate with them while I am, at heart, a Vietnamese?
I'm looking forward to having some in-depth conversations soon with a few of them from each group. Just to understand them, beyond the public image they form to clique with their circles in Saigon (because no doubt, Saigon's circles do not mingle - you are either this or that). Oh yah, because you are either this or that, the hybrid me is trying my best to just... live here lol
1. That party was .. new lol My college friends never drink to show off. They drink and drink. The point is to have fun and chill. This group of friends also drink to have fun but also, to a certain extent, to show off how cool they may be. Nothing wrong. Self-flattering is a very basic human need.
2. Expats do party hard over here. They form a culture of "cool, fun, and well, professional" - Cool, fun, professional - huh, isn't that how I want to be too? Am I, unconsciously, trying to integrate with them while I am, at heart, a Vietnamese?
I'm looking forward to having some in-depth conversations soon with a few of them from each group. Just to understand them, beyond the public image they form to clique with their circles in Saigon (because no doubt, Saigon's circles do not mingle - you are either this or that). Oh yah, because you are either this or that, the hybrid me is trying my best to just... live here lol
On Facebook
Jotting thoughts down
On Facebook
Whom do I see on Facebook?
- Material-Elite young Vietnamese who claim international travel, fun and happy hang-out times, and complain about their academic/work/love pressure.
- Intellectual-Elite young Vietnamese who claim complex thoughts over social matters and ask for popular votes to attend international conferences to hopefully affect future changes.
- A few complaints here and there, but most of the times, happy pictures, quotes, statuses.
If I (or a fellow young Vietnamese) spend too much time on Facebook, here's the thinking trap:
- Happiness is given. Everyone else is happy, why am I not? Girls look cute. Guys compliment their pictures. Girls are popular. Guys comment on their walls. What are the consequential emotions? Envy, Depression, Racing not for what's meaningful for ourselves but for public performance.
- The ease of enjoying life. It is given. We are talented and young.
As a media channel, Facebook is indeed shaping our own identities. We change ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, according to this online channel and their members' expectations. Will I, feeling disastrous as this thought, see a young elitist Vietnamese generation, all about envious and competing for * happiness * and take their privilege as given?
On Facebook
Whom do I see on Facebook?
- Material-Elite young Vietnamese who claim international travel, fun and happy hang-out times, and complain about their academic/work/love pressure.
- Intellectual-Elite young Vietnamese who claim complex thoughts over social matters and ask for popular votes to attend international conferences to hopefully affect future changes.
- A few complaints here and there, but most of the times, happy pictures, quotes, statuses.
If I (or a fellow young Vietnamese) spend too much time on Facebook, here's the thinking trap:
- Happiness is given. Everyone else is happy, why am I not? Girls look cute. Guys compliment their pictures. Girls are popular. Guys comment on their walls. What are the consequential emotions? Envy, Depression, Racing not for what's meaningful for ourselves but for public performance.
- The ease of enjoying life. It is given. We are talented and young.
As a media channel, Facebook is indeed shaping our own identities. We change ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, according to this online channel and their members' expectations. Will I, feeling disastrous as this thought, see a young elitist Vietnamese generation, all about envious and competing for * happiness * and take their privilege as given?
Living in Europe - Living in Asia
Living in Europe
It's been two years since I left Europe. When I was there, I was a totally ignorant traveller, going and contemplating without much, or well, very little, knowledge of those places. The history of the French monuments failed me. To me, Big Ben, Picadillus circus, Gondola were unheard of. I simply visited places and took pictures of the moments. I travelled without reading guides nor reviews. I simply trusted that my dear friend (who had so much courage to travel with me the directionless and unable-to-plan-travel-to-strange-cities girl) would take me to safe and interesting places :)
I'm glad that I was like that. Once of a lifetime. And never again. As innocent. As romantic. As trusting. Maybe just like Europe, romantic and fancily surreal.
www.amyngoctu.multiply.com/tags/paris ~~ some travel memories.
Living in Asia
Most chaotic. Most easily confused by the range of ideologies, types of people, cultures I'm exposed to. Most likely to have to negotiate between different circles, or, worlds. More so in Vietnam, China than Singapore, Hong Kong.
Most emotionally attached to. And yet, most depressed when I can't seem to get out of it.
Most influenced by its cultures and backgrounds. And yet, most easily (too) to find my innermost lost in the crowd. Hard to find shared souls. Harder to really believe that I'm accepted by others, the whole me, not just any one single dimension of my me-image. Most easily annoyed by unconsciously arrogant and super-ego men.
Lots of love.
It's been two years since I left Europe. When I was there, I was a totally ignorant traveller, going and contemplating without much, or well, very little, knowledge of those places. The history of the French monuments failed me. To me, Big Ben, Picadillus circus, Gondola were unheard of. I simply visited places and took pictures of the moments. I travelled without reading guides nor reviews. I simply trusted that my dear friend (who had so much courage to travel with me the directionless and unable-to-plan-travel-to-strange-cities girl) would take me to safe and interesting places :)
I'm glad that I was like that. Once of a lifetime. And never again. As innocent. As romantic. As trusting. Maybe just like Europe, romantic and fancily surreal.
www.amyngoctu.multiply.com/tags/paris ~~ some travel memories.
Living in Asia
Most chaotic. Most easily confused by the range of ideologies, types of people, cultures I'm exposed to. Most likely to have to negotiate between different circles, or, worlds. More so in Vietnam, China than Singapore, Hong Kong.
Most emotionally attached to. And yet, most depressed when I can't seem to get out of it.
Most influenced by its cultures and backgrounds. And yet, most easily (too) to find my innermost lost in the crowd. Hard to find shared souls. Harder to really believe that I'm accepted by others, the whole me, not just any one single dimension of my me-image. Most easily annoyed by unconsciously arrogant and super-ego men.
Lots of love.
Living in the U.S.
It could be a function of me staying in the *suburb * for too long, but I would get crazy if I have to put up with monotonously gigantic buildings of companies, and artificially hollow big houses in rural + suburban America again. I need a city life, to see people, not cars! I used to call all those cars on a highway in Los Angeles: scorpions. Scenario I used to hate, now sort of accept it but would not choose it: Driving in one's car with one's coffee in a plastic cup, having to curse other cars on the same highway to get home. Maybe I have * autophobia *, or * isolophobia *
Travel habits
I never stayed still when I traveled. Perhaps that's why even though I travelled a lot, the insights I have on the landscape or the beauty of just that city, excluding the people, seem to be evaporating from me =( All I ever remember, is just how warm, crazy, bored-with-life, having-mental-disorder, people can be lol
Paris is prettiest among all of them, yet it's sad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfDv5TTJ3Bc&feature=channel
Venice is dreamy, yet it's so small
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp2P3IcmwGk&feature=related
.. I should just have a simple dream of having a high-paid job in HCMC and then travel..
Little does she know how she's also foregoing her dream of hopping global cities to work..
I'm sure there will be a pause.
Paris is prettiest among all of them, yet it's sad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfDv5TTJ3Bc&feature=channel
Venice is dreamy, yet it's so small
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp2P3IcmwGk&feature=related
.. I should just have a simple dream of having a high-paid job in HCMC and then travel..
Little does she know how she's also foregoing her dream of hopping global cities to work..
I'm sure there will be a pause.
An elite education
questions in mind yet I haven't found enough time for good answers:
- what's the meaning of my *elite* education?
- what's the meaning of my sort of accidental venture to California?
- my immediate and medium term future plans are very foggy, and so are my very long-term plan. but the plan in between is clearer than ever, pretty weird.
- what's the meaning of my *elite* education?
- what's the meaning of my sort of accidental venture to California?
- my immediate and medium term future plans are very foggy, and so are my very long-term plan. but the plan in between is clearer than ever, pretty weird.
Life outside of the office
***
I wept while catching this little boy sitting outside of my office. He begged me to buy his cakes (banh cam). I did not have money with me and so couldn't do anything. It's not about me feeling guilty or fortunate, as I had neither of those feelings. I felt mad at myself, for not working on education for these children and for not making direct impacts in their lives. Excuses keep coming up. But I had a short life expectancy for myself, what I do in my work is not as important to me as what the result of my work will do to help me and others. As I swirl through life in my current and future chapters, when I have enough money to live independently, I will do much more. For now, sorry little Tu, I have no recommendations for you for what to do.
***
It rained really hard. I asked:
- Can you really have business with this weather?
- Yeah, only the taxis can.
And he left in the rain.
(my conversation with my xe om's driver)
Oh! I just realized how much of a risk-taker I am for leaving my life to different strangers every day (i.e. taking xe om) but oh well, I guess you can say the same for taxis or any other public transport.
***
I teach English to my little nephew these days. He is smart and the joy I see in his eyes when he learns and speaks new words makes me so happy.
These days, I sometimes sleep on the same bed with my sister and my nephew (yah, 3 people). Sometimes I get so tired after work and just pass out on the bed when I enter my sister's room. The 2 poor young people don't even wanna wake me up and choose to sleep on the floor instead. I kiss them good night everyday. They are so dearingly loving of me. As I'm writing this blog, my nephew bringing me banh trung thu told me: you must eat so you won't become under/mal-nultritious :D cause you work so hard and don't eat. awww... (no worries, I eat and sleep a lot!)
I wept while catching this little boy sitting outside of my office. He begged me to buy his cakes (banh cam). I did not have money with me and so couldn't do anything. It's not about me feeling guilty or fortunate, as I had neither of those feelings. I felt mad at myself, for not working on education for these children and for not making direct impacts in their lives. Excuses keep coming up. But I had a short life expectancy for myself, what I do in my work is not as important to me as what the result of my work will do to help me and others. As I swirl through life in my current and future chapters, when I have enough money to live independently, I will do much more. For now, sorry little Tu, I have no recommendations for you for what to do.
***
It rained really hard. I asked:
- Can you really have business with this weather?
- Yeah, only the taxis can.
And he left in the rain.
(my conversation with my xe om's driver)
Oh! I just realized how much of a risk-taker I am for leaving my life to different strangers every day (i.e. taking xe om) but oh well, I guess you can say the same for taxis or any other public transport.
***
I teach English to my little nephew these days. He is smart and the joy I see in his eyes when he learns and speaks new words makes me so happy.
These days, I sometimes sleep on the same bed with my sister and my nephew (yah, 3 people). Sometimes I get so tired after work and just pass out on the bed when I enter my sister's room. The 2 poor young people don't even wanna wake me up and choose to sleep on the floor instead. I kiss them good night everyday. They are so dearingly loving of me. As I'm writing this blog, my nephew bringing me banh trung thu told me: you must eat so you won't become under/mal-nultritious :D cause you work so hard and don't eat. awww... (no worries, I eat and sleep a lot!)
Yasmin Ahmad
Google Yasmin Ahmad and her short commercials. Not to mention her achievements and special personality, I surfed her blog with lots of awe:
- She called herself a storyteller - which I think I'm developing myself into. I'm not good with details yet I love crafting stories around messages.
- She called herself "optimistic and sentimental to the point of annoying" - I admit I'm not the most emotionally expressive young lady you've ever met. But I'm emo :) I used to deny it, somehow perceiving it to be a weakness I have to kill in order to rise successfully. But days after days, I value people and our relationships, which makes me emo =p
- She loves evoking feelings. In my speech to SEALNet more than a year ago, I told them to pay attention to feelings as they stay with people while words and actions, may not.
- She called herself a storyteller - which I think I'm developing myself into. I'm not good with details yet I love crafting stories around messages.
- She called herself "optimistic and sentimental to the point of annoying" - I admit I'm not the most emotionally expressive young lady you've ever met. But I'm emo :) I used to deny it, somehow perceiving it to be a weakness I have to kill in order to rise successfully. But days after days, I value people and our relationships, which makes me emo =p
- She loves evoking feelings. In my speech to SEALNet more than a year ago, I told them to pay attention to feelings as they stay with people while words and actions, may not.
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)